The Art of Compromise
If you’re a regular reader of this blog, then you probably know that I’m a mommy to a delightful little boy, who dare I say, teaches me almost as much as I teach him about being human and creating our reality as we want it to be.
So today on the way to school, he asked me about how he can get some of his friends to participate on a film project with him, as he wants to produce it one way, and they want to do it another. While explaining to him how when people work together, they need to find a way to blend their ideas so that they can make their dream a reality, it dawned on me; many of us have lost sight as to the art and power of compromise.
Too often in our society we’re taught “Don’t Compromise!”, and therefore, our ideas or belief about what it means to compromise can make us feel as though we’re ‘less than’, or not living at full capacity, if we do. However, I want to propose a different understanding, as it may be helpful to you when you need to compromise in order to achieve a certain experience.
To start, let’s be clear about what compromising really is. When we compromise with someone in order to create a joint experience, what we are doing is connecting with them to blend our individual ideas to achieve a certain reality. If in fact we want to have this particular experience with them, then we need to find a way to lovingly listen to their ideas, and respectfully communicate our own, so that we can collectively create an experience that makes all parties happy.
If you listen to someone while entertaining ideas that they are somehow working against you, or that you are going to have to give up your vision, your defenses will be up, and you will find it much more difficult to create a mutually beneficial reality. Not the best place to be if you want to achieve success and happiness. However, when you remind yourself that there is nothing to fear or be anxious about, and that the only thing you’re engaging in is an exchange of ideas to potentially create a certain experience, you give yourself the freedom to let your guard down.
Holding this space in consciousness allows you to listen to another person’s ideas without judgement, attachment or criticism. Which then frees you to listen for those ideas that will best compliment your vision so that each of you can feel supported and valued during the creation process.
Just like you, the person you are compromising with wants to feel heard, understood and valued for what they are contributing to the creation process, and because we always receive the energy we put out, we’re much more likely to get the support we need, as we create our desired reality.