Don’t Take Relationship Advice from People Who Don’t Really Care About the Outcome
DON’T TAKE RELATIONSHIP ADVICE FROM
PEOPLE WHO DON’T CARE ABOUT THE OUTCOME
I first started giving advice to people about their relationships when I was about ten years old. I was the girl that others would go to in order to get “hooked-up” with the current object of their desire.
And in each situation I’ve ever been tapped to facilitate a connection, or to help navigate a relationship challenge, I’ve always been extremely mindful of the advice I was giving. However, after many years of living, I’ve discovered that not everyone is so caring or thoughtful in these types of scenarios… and others… well, they just don’t have the perspective or experience to offer advice that would make a positive impact on the life of the person they’re sharing their opinions with.
One of my clients recently learned this the hard way, as she decided to share her current relationship challenges with a co-worker/ – who, from the sound of the advice she gave her, wasn’t really equipped to give her sound advice. (Pun intended)
Unfortunately, my client took the advice before we could discuss the impact it would have on her relationship/ – and now she’s created an even bigger divide between her and husband then there was before she followed it. And though we’re working now to help clear the debris, the damage that’s been done could have totally been avoided, had she been more mindful about who she was taking advice from.
So, here’s the deal for how to better handle these types of situations…
Just about anyone you talk to will offer you their unique critique about your life, or relationship. The key to achieving your desired outcome however, besides keeping your relationship challenges to yourself or speaking to an expert who really can help you, is to not let other people’s opinions affect your judgement or decisions.
I know that can be easier said than done, especially when you’re emotional and hurting. But trust me, it will save you from an even bigger challenge in the future.
Here are 3 tips to help you get clear, and stick to a more effective thought process for you to achieve your desired outcome ::
1. Write down what you want from the situation.
Our minds can generate so many overlapping thoughts when we’re clear, let alone in a fragile or negative state, that it can be challenging to know which ones to focus on. So, take some time to think about the situation you’re facing, and write out how you want the situation to unfold.
* Hint, write out an outcome that you can really believe in, otherwise you won’t do what’s necessary to achieve it.
2. Talk to your partner about what it is they want from the situation/- WITHOUT JUDGEMENT.
While you two may be at opposite ends of the spectrum when it comes to this situation, you are still in fact a team. And in order to be a successful team, you must communicate your ideas, beliefs, and desires clearly to one another – so you can turn your vision into a reality.
3. Create an action plan to achieve your agreed upon resolution/- and then LET IT GO.
Once the two of you have come to an agreement on the desired outcome you’re working to achieve, let the issue go. STOP giving it energy. Anything you focus on grows… and if your focus is on the challenge, and who was “right” or who was “wrong,” the negativity between you is going to last that much longer.
If however, you decide that you rather feel loved, at ease, and back to enjoying one another’s company, remind yourself that on most subjects, there is no right or wrong… just differing opinions.
And, let’s face it, more times than not, it’s more fun to be loved than right, right?
Lots of love, peace, + happiness!