Relationship Trouble? Here are 2 Powerful Tips for Getting it Back on Track
HERE ARE 2 POWERFUL TIPS FOR GETTING IT BACK ON TRACK
Wow! I don’t know if it’s because Mercury is in retrograde, or that we’re all out of sorts – acclimating to the cooler Autumn weather… however, it seems like almost every where I go, I bump into someone who is struggling in their relationship.
Whether it’s a series of small irritations, like their partner not coming home from work on time and sloughing off on household chores… or larger challenges, such as dating the “wrong person” to avoid being lonely, infidelity, or one, or both partners, not trying hard enough to make money – people have been sharing all sorts of negative stories with me about why they believe their relationships aren’t working.
And even though I know they’re the ones creating their frustration, I truly empathize with each of them, as I have to believe with the level of pain they’re experiencing that they don’t want to live in misery. They just don’t know how to shift their mindset so that they can experience the type of healthy, loving, and happy relationship they desire.
SO LET’S POINT OUT THE OBVIOUS
If everything you experience in your physical reality represents the reflection of the sum total of your thoughts, ideas, and beliefs, then on a very real level, you must acknowledge that you are at least partially responsible for the frustration you experience in your relationships. Hence, if the love of your life isn’t treating you like the amazingly valuable partner that you know yourself to be, you must must take responsibility for how your beliefs have contributed to the current state of the relationship. And, while this realization may not feel so good when you first come to it, once it sinks in – you’ll find that you’re in an even better position to make things closer to how you want them to be.
MINDSET SHIFT #1 :: BELIEF
You can not look for the worst in your partner, complaining again and again about how much they neglect you, how little they support and respect you, and how they’ve let their physical appearance go… and genuinely believe that they’re going to walk in the door with a fabulous meal, a bouquet of roses, and sweep you off your feet. The reason being is that your belief system doesn’t support the possibility of your desired experience being met.
In order to experience being loved, cherished, supported, and appreciated, you must not only believe it’s possible for you, but that it is the most probable outcome based on your beliefs.
To consciously make this kind of powerful shift to your belief system – for the next 21 days, I invite you to write down at least 10 ways your partner currently shows their love for you. It can be a simple as cleaning up after themselves in the bathroom or folding your laundry, to special evenings out, or taking care of the kids so you can get some personal time. And, if you need to get a little bit more out of this exercise, try emailing the list to yourself so that you can read, and re-read it several times through out the day.
Because what we focus on grows, by focusing your attention on all the ways your partner current shows their love for you, you’re making room for more experiences that will match your current thought-stream about the situation.
MINDSET SHIFT #2 :: COMMUNICATION
If you’re honest with yourself, I’m sure you can admit that there are days you don’t know exactly what you want in life, let alone possess the ability to effectively communicate it to someone else. And, if you’re expecting your partner to show up like the hero or heroine of a fairytale – read your mind, and deliver to you your very own “Happily Ever After,” you’re setting both of you up for a let-down. Hence, in addition to believing in your partner, the other essential component to a healthy and happy relationship I’m going to share with you today is to COMMUNICATE.
The way we create our life experiences is by the stories and ideas we play in our heads over and again. And the only way you can create a congruent life with another person to to be able to effectively communicate your desires and dreams to them. Now, while it may seem as though effective communication should be easy enough, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve played mediator between two people who love each other deeply, but can’t seem to get the other person to understand what it is they want, and vice versa, without getting hurt or angry.
And, if you can’t share your vision effectively, you can’t really expect the other person to deliver an experience to you that you haven’t even fully clarified within yourself. So, to help bridge the communication gap you and your love may be experiencing, I invite you to try the following.
- Write down the ideas you want to express, questions you want to ask, and any other information you may find useful in telling your story before you sit-down to talk.
- Set special time aside, where both of you are in a good mood, and can easily listen (without fear and anger) to what the other person desires.
- Do not take anything the other person says personally. They are simply stating a preference, and if you don’t agree with it, keep sharing ideas until you can come up with an experience that gives you both what you need.
- Remember, life is long, an awkward conversation (comparatively speaking) – not so much. Trust me -it’s worth a few moments of vulnerability in front of your love, to experience that which your soul craves, and will provide you with increased happiness and fulfillment in your relationship.